So I've had this frequent occurrence lately where people seriously have been calling me fat. No matter how kindly they try to put it, its like a handicap people awkwardly observe and freely announce. Many people ask me how that makes me feel-to be called fat with the physique that I've got. I'm not self conscious (just yet) about myself nor my body and I strive to just say Hey It Is What It Is but when people start calling you fat and you have less than 10% body fat its sort of frustrating considering the amount of time I put in at the gym.
I work out religiously and have stubbornly come to the point where I finally embrace that even if I work out for 5 hours a day I can't eat yodels and burgers after my work outs and expect to achieve the goals I have for my physique. My abdominals are like bears in hibernation and the fat on top is like a cold winters frozen temperatures. I will not have flawless (fatless rather) abs until the winters air ( a new diet is Spring weather ) thaws and I get 95% discipline in my diet.
Like being called fat another constant in my NY life is the question of how intensely do I want to be a model. The answer determines the effort I'm willing to put forth to make success a reality. While there's a lot of bad in the industry the small percentage of good almost makes it worth the constant negativity. Working with designers and aspiring photographers is an enlightening experience.
I once used to be in love with art whether it be music or simple drawing. As life has passed reality has flooded my thought process with distraction from my artistic endeavors and now there is a serious diminished interest which is sad. When I see an emerging designer or up and coming photographer an attractive characteristic I observe is the heart filled passion they put into their work. Creating a new piece for the line or contemplating a new concept to shoot is just as exciting to them as a child opening the first gift at their birthday party and that reminds me of my days of passion and enthusiasm. Sure I put a lot of effort into modeling but my passion for it is not there, my enthusiasm for New York City has faded, I've reached the point where one seeking something new relocates their residence and acquires the "geographical fix".
I was recently on a shoot with a female model from Finland and we were chatting of traveling and moving around the world. We both agreed that we as humans most always want what we can't have and that it is very necessary to incorporate variety into your life especially in regards to travel. Now that the streets of New York aren't new I seek a change. I do not foresee another opportunity to get a geographical fix in the near future so I shall incorporate more variety into my life.
There will always be constants but a great way to add variety to my boring (and one of the benefits of modeling-shooting with new people all the time) is to add to my network of acquaintances. Every day I email many people I don't know and either introduce myself so that they may consider me for future projects (whether they be designers or photographers) or inquire with stylists or hair and make up artists to see if they're interested in testing (shooting) with me. I suppose you could say I'm an explorer and since most of the earth has already been discovered I opt to explore people and sift through the good and the bad. Since I cannot travel as much as I'd like I suppose something I am semi passionate about is meeting new people and seeing where our relationship leads me to.
It could be a casting director for a shoot whom I shot with that calls me up randomly months after a shoot to see if I'm available that day for a last minute project or a photographer that I haven't heard from in ages that remembered our test and wanted to see if I'd be interested in another collaboration, you never know where a good first impression/encounter could lead. So-Look at this-in this one writing I've realized that I still have a passion in modeling indirectly and its through the adventures it lures me into...brilliant
Friday, November 5, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
My new job as a coat check man @ a gay bar
New York City life is a hustle and hustling requires extra energy. With prolonged exposure to the hustle I've encountered an exhaustion I can't seem to kick. I feel that the intelligent resolution to the situation is to counter the hustle characteristics I've flooded my life with upon moving to NYC with somewhat of a more simple lifestyle. The main experience I had when moving to the city was an instability in my schedule. I was doing work from craigslist, flyering, catering, as well as striving to shoot as much as possible all of which proved to be successful but increased my internal pace and set a subconscious anxiety in place.
Modeling is currently not paying me anything and all I've been getting from my photo shoots is new photos instead of new checks. With that I've been forced to work more and since I feel I need to center myself due to the instability in my schedule I've decided to find a steady job. Most jobs in the city require loads of experience to get hired and since I'm not highly skilled in many forms of employment I decided to pursue a different avenue.
I knew I could find some type of work at a gay bar or at least entice some gay manager to hire a young male model so I emailed all the gay clubs in the city and got a few replies back. A small club/lounge/bar in the west village called XES sent me an email asking me to come in for an interview for the "coat check" position. I figured it would be common sense work so I said I was experienced and was welcomed at my interview. The general manager of the club met with me and said he'd give me a chance to see how I worked with the "team". My first night was Thursday night-Karaoke night.
I got to the bar for 5 pm and the manager showed me where my equipment was and where I was to hang the coats. I set up a small table close to the front door and queued up a few ticket tags for the hangers. The manager that hired me got me a roll of tape for bags (to tape tickets to a bag) and the most necessary tool for my success-a tip jar. When I was ready to go I stood at my position and awaited the crowd. The shitty thing is that there is no closet to hang coats I have to walk up and down the stairs for each item-fml
The bar gets a good rush for happy hour-buy one get one free from 6 to 9 and I arrived at 5 so I had a small crowd there already but few coats. There is a lull in activity until about 11 or 12 and then the true party people come out and I get most of my business. The more alcohol one consumes there the more likely I'm going to get a tip.
I find it very humorous when an older guy clearly drunk and blatantly gay comes up to me not knowing I'm the coat check guy even though I've got my table and a sign that says "FREE COAT CHECK" and tries chatting with me. They'll stumble in front of me and stare for a few seconds-few minutes if they're wasted and then engage in a failure of communication. Some guys will let me know they've been looking at me all night wondering why I'm standing in the corner or will say something like "you look like you're not having any fun" and I'll give them a fake smile and nonchalantly point to the "COAT CHECK" sign above my head and inform them that I am an employee of the bar not a patron or sometimes just point to the sign and follow it with silence so their slow thought process is evident to them without a verbal explanation from myself.
I worked halloween night and one guy asked me what my costume was being that I was holding a coat hanger. Again I gave the fake smile (but wish I said, dude are fuckin dull?) and pointed to the sign. At least he was keen enough to make it humorous and say "well I'm not the smartest cookie". Right.
So I get an hourly rate as well as tips and the tips make the job worth it. Catering made me a little more money but not by much and with that you had to look proper, deal with arrogant cocky assholes (serving them not ALWAYS working with them), and the hours were so random plus the payment was always delayed. Cash money every night and a paycheck every other week, it works. So I've found some stability in employment and when mixed with a daily gym workout things should get back under control just in time for the crazy Fashion Week scheduling-LOVELY.
Modeling is currently not paying me anything and all I've been getting from my photo shoots is new photos instead of new checks. With that I've been forced to work more and since I feel I need to center myself due to the instability in my schedule I've decided to find a steady job. Most jobs in the city require loads of experience to get hired and since I'm not highly skilled in many forms of employment I decided to pursue a different avenue.
I knew I could find some type of work at a gay bar or at least entice some gay manager to hire a young male model so I emailed all the gay clubs in the city and got a few replies back. A small club/lounge/bar in the west village called XES sent me an email asking me to come in for an interview for the "coat check" position. I figured it would be common sense work so I said I was experienced and was welcomed at my interview. The general manager of the club met with me and said he'd give me a chance to see how I worked with the "team". My first night was Thursday night-Karaoke night.
I got to the bar for 5 pm and the manager showed me where my equipment was and where I was to hang the coats. I set up a small table close to the front door and queued up a few ticket tags for the hangers. The manager that hired me got me a roll of tape for bags (to tape tickets to a bag) and the most necessary tool for my success-a tip jar. When I was ready to go I stood at my position and awaited the crowd. The shitty thing is that there is no closet to hang coats I have to walk up and down the stairs for each item-fml
The bar gets a good rush for happy hour-buy one get one free from 6 to 9 and I arrived at 5 so I had a small crowd there already but few coats. There is a lull in activity until about 11 or 12 and then the true party people come out and I get most of my business. The more alcohol one consumes there the more likely I'm going to get a tip.
I find it very humorous when an older guy clearly drunk and blatantly gay comes up to me not knowing I'm the coat check guy even though I've got my table and a sign that says "FREE COAT CHECK" and tries chatting with me. They'll stumble in front of me and stare for a few seconds-few minutes if they're wasted and then engage in a failure of communication. Some guys will let me know they've been looking at me all night wondering why I'm standing in the corner or will say something like "you look like you're not having any fun" and I'll give them a fake smile and nonchalantly point to the "COAT CHECK" sign above my head and inform them that I am an employee of the bar not a patron or sometimes just point to the sign and follow it with silence so their slow thought process is evident to them without a verbal explanation from myself.
I worked halloween night and one guy asked me what my costume was being that I was holding a coat hanger. Again I gave the fake smile (but wish I said, dude are fuckin dull?) and pointed to the sign. At least he was keen enough to make it humorous and say "well I'm not the smartest cookie". Right.
So I get an hourly rate as well as tips and the tips make the job worth it. Catering made me a little more money but not by much and with that you had to look proper, deal with arrogant cocky assholes (serving them not ALWAYS working with them), and the hours were so random plus the payment was always delayed. Cash money every night and a paycheck every other week, it works. So I've found some stability in employment and when mixed with a daily gym workout things should get back under control just in time for the crazy Fashion Week scheduling-LOVELY.
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