Take what you want.

When an 18 year old male model asks me to buy him a few beers for the ride to a catering event that we were both to work I couldn't help but smile proudly at his carelessness. The last beer was consumed as we were pulling into the parking lot of our event and the evening went on as any slow catering night ought to; a few glasses were smashed (guess who), managers were pissy and dramatic, and I got my share of lean meat from the leftover food once things slowed down. The more catering events I work for lately the more I'm encountering people new to the city whom are younger than me. Some still with the awe of "New York City" and some scolded by an unprecedented realness they were unaware of coming from their small midwest towns. Since I've observed these young implants to NY I have realized that my mentality has changed from the start of my stay in the city. I'm still as aggressive and hungry for productivity but the city is less of a mystery, I've adapted to the awe factor and am at a point in my life where again I seek a place where the productivity and awe factor coincide.

My booker (agent) and I are going to sit down soon to discuss the best path for me as a model. With my portfolio barely consisting of any tear sheets, I think he may push me towards working in a country (not the states) that will get me work in magazines for the specific reason of acquiring photos for my portfolio showing that I can work. Whether it be Europe or Asia (again) now with a current awareness of my desire for new stimulation I am prepared to relocate where ever my agency believes that the most productivity will be achieved.

I'm no greater than the kid who will never leave home and who may be content with absolute simplicity. Humans can adapt to any circumstance and we're all alike in one sense that we can make a choice to either accept what we're given or push to be where we'd like to be. "You want to always be outside of your comfort zone or else you are not challenged and unmotivated to improve"(spin instructor). With the busy catering season amassing and for other blatant reasons, I've decided to take a brief trip to Mexico. I can't really afford it but I figure I'll adapt and make it work. I morally cannot say that I am better than any person but will say that I am that person who creates a life that he wants and will not sit back for shit to magically appear.