I wake up at 6:45 a.m., crawl out of bed slowly, find my slippers and in a sloth like manner find myself on my front porch for my daily wake and bake session. I strive for 3 bowls before the shower but that amount certainly varies. With the fresh dose of THC I begin the monotony of yet again another day.
The way I see it, I am at a stepping stone...a very boring stepping stone. My theory behind smoking is smoke to enhance a circumstance. I repair handcuffs and work out, that's virtually my life. Mix that with endless contemplation on endless topics and I somewhere find the justification to smoke on the daily. Preventitive, calming, damaging. When weighing the pros and cons to smoking it's clear that it should not be done. Though I feel that if I were to simply stop
I would be forced to witness the realities of my life which is full of discontent.
Friday has arrived and I patiently wait for the time when I shall depart from work and further more this wretched waste of land called a city, Springfield. Maine is my end point and I shall enjoy, I hope, the beach and summer like weather this weekend. Dinner with the grandmother to discuss my plans for the future and then it's off to business.
Meeting a few people in town to discuss new opportunities in the world of making money "illegitimately". Seems like any time I go back home it's brief and I get the chance to meet with many people. I like that, get a taste of the past, the things which weren't completely dreaded while a constant and then leave. Seems like I'm never happy with one place. Seems like boredom will not leave me alone.
There must be a deeper cause to boredom or boredom may not even be the issue. One of the problems is self definition. I seek to define myself though feel hesitation in commitment to a path of definition for lack of clarity. Clarity in dreams, goals, desires. This is a cycle.
contemplation. inhalation. relaxation. monotony. discontentment.
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