September 6th

The Monday before fashion week and I've only got one casting, compliments of the agency. Something is really fucked up with that. I woke up late and had a leisurely morning. The casting was from 10 am to 4 pm where I could arrive anytime in between and I got there at about 2pm. After waiting 45 minutes and battling the urge to urinate all over my fellow models due to the large water and shot of vodka I had consumed on the train ride to the casting I was finally seen.

As I've said before, when the casting directors don't like what they see the models get an automatic "Thank you". Perhaps I've been fortunate enough to have been spared the embarrassment of being laughed at or cruelly turned down but today I saw Michael Bastian. When I entered the doorway I could see some models walk with clothes and some in underwear...I quickly learned that if you were walking in underwear then the designer and casting team approved your clothed walk and wanted to see more.

I entered the studio and warmly shook all the hands that I could as I introduced myself. They reviewed my book and asked me to walk. I did my walk and when I returned the designer had a look on his face with raised eye brows which I could not interpret. He asked me to pull my hair back and said to his colleagues something in regards to my look having army or military qualities. I was then asked to strip down to my underwear and walk. I did as I was told and they continued the selection process where they photographed me a few times and allowed me to go.

I left feeling a bit content and somewhat cocky. Shit, I probably won't get the show but I felt as if through the designers reaction I already acquired the confidence one would get after walking such a notorious show. Perhaps this is the answer...Do work and see the results and you will be happy. Perhaps happiness is easy to come upon for others and challenging as fuck for myself. It is what it is and so I move on.

The pretty girl that I call my own texted me the information of a casting that she had gone to earlier where both male and female models were present. I headed to the location after my first casting of the day. My routine is to go to any casting with my BOSS book as well as with my neutral black book to house my modeling photos. Though boss had not sent me to this casting, I decided to use the book in hopes that the name could be used to my advantage.

I used a photo that was not necessary for my book and wrote all the relevant information that a casting director would need on the back. When I arrived I signed in and awaited my name to be called. I was called and the casting crew looked at my book and kept staring at me. They took my makeshift comp card and said thank you. THE DEADLY "THANK YOU" was burdened upon my ears though they confirmed that it was ok for them to take my comp card. A truly confusing and hard to interpret response to viewing me as their model. So I thanked them kindly and departed from the tension filled room.

About a week or two ago I had shot with the bamboo t shirt designer and had not signed a model release. He had emailed me requesting that I join him at a bbq to sign the model release and consume a burger, hot dog, or alcoholic beverage. Since I was not obligated to any significant events in my schedule I opted to take him up on the offer and traveled north to West 105th Street.

We met in the streets and he was with one of his gay friends. We walked to the townhouse where the barbecue was being hosted at and entered the residence. In the back there was a small area outside where the lesbian host had tables and chairs along with a barbecue. The snacks consisted of hummus and crackers, sun chips, and garlic bagel chips with some sort of garlic and spinach dip-WOW.

I thought that shit was good enough and then we were treated with burgers, hot dogs, AND grilled veggies. This was a true delight; lounging in the upper west side, BBQing, and drinking with complete strangers. I love modeling in the sense that I am always subjected to unpredictable extravagant ventures such as this. The funny thing is that I was summoned to this event merely to sign a model release and on exchange I was wined and dined. Lovely.